In the day to day pace of life, finding the time and space to truly focus is often a challenge of mine. This isn't a new realization for me, a former New Yorker now living in Singapore; it's something I've grappled with for a lifetime, requiring constant reminders and strategies. My time spent living and working in Thailand for twelve years proved invaluable, teaching me the art of embracing a slower pace, cherishing the small things, and learning to decelerate.
As Aguilar (2018) puts it, "When we’re fully present, we’re more likely to find appropriate levity to moments of challenge and to relieve stress by finding humor in a situation" (p. 125). I am a work in progress, and it's a continuous journey for me, acknowledging the natural constraints of an educator's time and the challenge of fully connecting with both my staff and my beloved family of five.
Over the last three years, I have read numerous books that have pushed my thinking and shaped my practice. I firmly believe that individual wellbeing and connectedness are foundational to effective learning and are vital to being our best selves.
A recent incident at the mall with my eldest son further reinforced the importance of presence. Despite being pressed for time to make our condo shuttle home, I stopped our hurried pace to assist an elderly woman struggling to climb the stairs to the MRT. Though initially taken aback, (because I dropped his hand which he still does in public and I adore) my son soon appreciated the significance of the gesture, expressing gratitude and kissing my forehead thanking me.
As my son approaches the end of high school and prepares to leave home, I've been struck by the realization of my own lapses in presence. It has been hitting hard and reminds me of a quote from "Unleash Your Complexity Genius" that resonated deeply: "The reason we look at this present moment is to understand as well as we can that the interactions of these elements as they exist today are the ingredients available to change tomorrow" (Berger & Coughlin, 2023, p. 33). It served as a poignant reminder to cherish the moments shared with my son, recognizing their significance in shaping his future memories.
Reflecting on this, I'm reminded of words shared by a colleague and mentor, Nick Alchin, who emphasized the importance of intentionality in our actions. At the beginning of the year, he poignantly reminded the staff of the importance of being intentional and acknowledging that while our daily actions as teachers may not always yield immediate impact, they contribute to long-term outcomes.
As I finish an emotional week with my son finishing his last days of high school (minus exams) I hold onto the hope that he has gleaned the value of presence and intentionality. May he find fulfillment and happiness, guided by these principles, wherever his life path leads.
References
Aguilar, E. (2018). Onward: Cultivating emotional resilience in educators. Jossey-Bass.
Berger, J. & Coughlin, C. (2023). Unleash your complexity genius. Growing your inner
capacity to lead. Stanford Undervistiy Press.
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